OH MY GOD! underwear like I’d never seen before, I love underwear and they had some amazing stuff beautiful delicate dainties like I’d never seen before. But that wasn’t the section I needed, no i needed the old ladies section, there it was flesh coloured and stretchy, I considered walking away pretending I was looking at the thongs or at least the boy shorts but a quick wobble of my jelly made my mind up for me. There they were the magic pants, the waist cinchers, the shorts that lift your ass and slim your thighs and something my I think i remember my granny hand washing called the “Hourglass”.
It was an education and I finally decided on a waist slimmer thing, to pull in the jelly belly its like a flesh coloured sausage casing with boning in the sides, I decided against trying it on as I just wanted to get out of there before someone I knew walked past, like my old headmistress or the first guy who broke my heart, you know the kind of things that people laugh about but that really happen to me. You don’t believe me, think I’m trying to be humorous, but believe me these things happen to me all the time, as you get to know me better you’ll realise that. I managed to pay for it, get it into my bag and get out of the shop without being spotted, then I make it out of the centre without my bag bursting and the sausage casing falling at the feet of a group of rowdy teenagers!
Once safely at home i showed my partner my purchases (there were a few sexy bits there too that I hid the sausage under while I was buying it) with him egging me on I tried it on, I have to tell you it took the two of us ten minutes to get it on, over the head and slowly inch it down so it holds in the bits between my boobies and my knickers, worked a treat but I looked a bit like an over stuffed pork sausage! But once my clothes were back on it looked great, the jelly was definitely more firmly set.
I don’t know how often I’ll wear it, probably only when I need to feel extra confident as it’s not the most comfy thing in my underwear drawer. now as I’m writing I’m drinking a glass of wine and eating dark chocolate so maybe I’ve fallen into the trap of just sucking it in, I’ll be the size of a house in six months, but I’ll be a house wrapped in a sausage casing!
That’s hilarious, imagine the bag bursting in the middle of Dundrum with all the teenagers! I just had a quik look at your previous posts, I love How to Look Good Naked, isn’t the presenter great too? Well done getting through a breakfast as a “party of 5″!