Anniversary?

My partner and I have our anniversary coming up, problem is I have no idea really when it is…..

You see we met through an internet dating site……I know! I can’t believe I met the person I’d like to spend the rest of my life with through the internet….it’s just bizarre, not very romantic, sounds a bit desperate? But he sent me a message on the 20th of November last year, so a year ago tomorrow. But an email does not a relationship make and after several messages, progressing to G Chat, leading to phone calls (he sounded SO young on the phone), eventually we arranged to meet…for a date, my first ever date in fact! So we met on the 6th of December, drinks in the Duke, dinner in Wagamama and then a beer in Doyles. It was a nice evening, he was lovely, but I spent most of the evening thinking I was gonna throw up and he was far too intelligent and serious (never mind together) to fancy a hippy dippy girl like me! Then at the end of the evening when we were going our separate ways we were both standing there, he went to hug me, which was grand, we’d hugged when we met earlier, then he went to kiss me, all that had been going through my head for the previous hour or so had been, “is he gonna kiss me at the end of the night?”, I turned my cheek so he missed my lips, then I ran away, literally ran away! So does that count for our anniversary?

We kissed a week later, and the rest remains a mystery…..

There was no decision that we were dating, nothing like that, it just felt so right, there were (and are) no games to play, and if I am honest after a couple of weeks everything was so comfortable (not in a boring pipe and slippers way), I would cuddle up to him on the sofa and it just felt like home. By my birthday in April there was no doubt in my mind about how amazing this man was, and I was in deep. We have had more to deal with than most new couples, five kids between us, ex partners (some crazier than others!) families, and soon a new baby! But I think we have done ok. I worry sometimes because I have fallen so deeply in love with him, I worry that he will wake up and smell the coffee, realise that I don’t deserve his love. I worry that my cynical side will stop me from allowing him to love me, I spent quite a long time pushing him away.

But now, approaching our year anniversary,I thank God for bad timing, it was so soon after my break up, I was only looking for a friend, a shag, a date to go to the movies with and I met someone absolutely amazing, I met a man like no other man I’d ever met before. He fills my life with so much love, he believes in my possibility, he is the happiest, most optimistic person I know, he is a wonderful friend, his smile makes my tummy turn over, he has the most beautiful eyelashes I’ve ever seen, I respect his political beliefs, he is a great dad and a wonderful friend to my children, he is a wonderful maker of tea and a fantastic lover, he is like my other half, and sometimes I feel like I’ve known him my entire life, he also has a really cute bum I love falling asleep in his arms every night and waking up there in the mornings, when he reads to me or or rubs my big baby belly I feel so cherished,  I am terrified at times to have found love, once you have it in your heart, you really don’t want to lose it. I am so grateful to whatever it was that brought me to the point where I considered meeting someone on the Internet, but it really not only changed my life, if I am honest it probably saved my life.

I am absoulutely his and he is absolutely mine, sometimes it is harder than others, sometimes my cynical nature makes it seem too hard, or that love isn’t worth the pain, the balancing act that is the rest of our lives, but what is life about if it isn’t about love and sharing your life with others?