My Dirty little (not so secret) Secret!

I love Mika…. I have the album and I love that….I love his bisexuality, his pretty curly hair and the fact that there is a burlesque fan dance in this video, this song also has a great line, talking about a hooker he says “She dresses like a kid for fun…” at the moment with my embracing dressing up I totally feel like that, I feel like a little girl in my dress up clothes!

Today in the car with the three kids the song “Billy Brown” came on, now they love this song in fact my son said, put on number seven, I did and it was this song and they were singing along….the chorus is “Billy Brown fell in love with another man..” now they are singing away and my daughter 4, says “Is Billy Brown a girl?” I tell her no, he is a man, she says, “But mummy, Ms **** says only men and women love each other ?” (bloody catholic or fucking church of Ireland Montessori teacher….) “No”, I say, “Some men love other men and some women love other women, everyone is different, thank God and love is love no matter who loves who…” (I know, a bit hippy dippy, but give me a break!) So my son pipes in, sure your Friends ****** and ******* live together”, yes I say, and tell him a couple of friends of theirs are getting married in a few weeks, then he totally throws me by saying….”Mum? do you know any lesbians?” totally like it is just, “is there sugar puffs for breakfast?” I tell him about my friend when I was a little girl and teenager who is a lesbian and I pat myself silently on the back, I am doing ok, they are on the right page morally, if they turn out gay or straight they see no difference…Thank god!

So back to Mika….mmm…MMMika, sexy curly hair, tight white pants….sorry, back to reality!

You know what I will post next, I just love it, I saw it before it hit the mainstream last year and I just loved it, it’s also the song that my daughter loves the most….she knows all the words to “Big Girl” and that fills me with joy, she might shake her ass to Gwen stick insect Stefani but she loves this song!

Again burlesque costumes although this time filled out by some “big girls”, this song makes me nearly cry with joy…do you think that is strange? I love to see the joy with which the curvy flabby bits are celebrated…I know I have a vested interest, but it’s not just Cos I am a big girl, much smaller than I was last year when it came out, I was a 20, now I’m a 16, although my fifties dress is made from an original 1950’s pattern, and they were tiny, so my dress is a 20…but it is an amazing fit, boned, it fits so well I don’t need a bra, which is great cos it’s halterneck! OK, off my tangent, I love the MIKA song cos it celebrates real women’s bodies, and I am so tired of listening to my friends giving out about their wonderful sexy womanly bodies!

I mean it, call me fucking stupid, I don’t care, I sat in one of my friends sitting rooms today, she tried on a lovely size 10 dress, giving about her tummy, she has three kids….the youngest is 7 months old! She looks fucking amazing, I know so many amazing women, sorry Jo, but I saw your post on For Nine Pounds but you have fucking amazing boobs! I am so tired of real, sexy amazing women hiding their lights under bushels…now maybe because I am separated, and kinda single (although not at all single, I don’t wear a ring) I receive amazing attention, maybe my confidence is higher, maybe I feel like I have to try harder, red lippy just to go grocery shopping!

It makes me sad that real women, not seventeen year old Lolita’s feel so negative about their bodies, now don’t get me wrong, when I am naked and my boobs head under my armpits for cover it is not attractive but I still feel so sexy, I love my belly, it is all saggy cos I have three kids (and sit ups don’t work for seriously stretched skin!) I am what I am.I am not skinny, never was, never will be! I have to accept it! I am happy with the stretch marks and flabby bits, I am not Madonna I do not have that self control, I love…I mean LOVE bread! You don’t do skiny and eat bread, unless you spend ages on the treadmill!

OK, so here is something uplifting…..was my ring tone, for years! The single came out, disappeared, then they had a hit and it was re released! I love it!!! God I am a Fag-Hag! but you have to admit the lead singer is very, very sexy!


3 thoughts on “My Dirty little (not so secret) Secret!

  1. Awh, you talking to your kids about men loving men and women loving women just made me smile; and really gives me hope for the future!

  2. Zaniac,
    Surely the future is what we make it, what kind of a parent would I (or my kids dad) be if we didn’t encourage them to accept difference in all it’s forms? In fact not just accept it but celebrate it? I know I am too hippy dippy sometimes, but the world needs that, to counteract the negative people? Happy adults thats what I want for my kids, a happy generation that’s what I want for their friends, openess and honesty, only way I know how to be!

    Glad we could make you feel good Damien!


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