I know all I have posted about so far is fashion…..hmm? There is stuff going on in my life again, it’s like that elephant in the middle of the room, right there but you try to ignore it, I am trying to look just slightly beyond my problems at the moment cos when I look at the elephant it just stomps all over me! It’a that thing my mum used to say when I was younger, dogs can sense your fear, so never show it, but of course the fact that the wild slobbering animal in front of me is somehow blessed with the gift of second sight just makes me even more afraid….A rabid and clairvoyant dog….? Great!
So things ain’t great, there are the boring monetary issues, still there, still bogging me down no matter how carefully I budget, kids wear out clothes, need haircuts and go to parties (getting to the point where I am thinking can I afford this birthday party, another 25 euro for a card and gift (now I now you will probably have loads of lovely suggestions for saving money, but my kids, coming from a “broken” home (don’t you just fucking love that?) well they are already “different”, and showing up with a homemade gift when everyone else brings power rangers….? That will just make them more different and as much as I appreciate friends charity some strangers (kids in my son’s class) have started giving me hand me downs…Put me downs?
So as regards money any idea as to how I earn a bit, turn some tricks? Or if there is a wonderful Blog fairy I could really do with a hand, hand out? 😦 I hate being in this position, I’m alone, I feel so insecure and vulnerable, it’s really scary. Things were never great for my hubby and I financially while married (all you need is love, livin on a prayer…fucking bullshit!) now that I am alone in the same home with the same bills it’s harder, there is no love, no one to say, fuck it, we’ll be alright….. It’s vulgar talking about money isn’t it, it’s like sex, we just don’t do it? We don’t talk about it cos we feel ashamed, not coping, don’t have enough or we don’t want people to know what we have…I don’t know, personally I’d rather talk about anal sex than my financial affairs but I am at the end of my tether and I need to vent it out to the bloggesphere!
My son had his school play tonight, my ex and my daughter came with me, my ex’s mother minded the baby, the right thing to do was what we did, be there for my son, let him see us united, still a unit at times when he needed us, but I slipped, I let my guard down, I looked at the other mothers I knew, there with their husbands and younger or older kids, tears welled, that ease, that happiness, that relaxed sense of belonging, no matter how polite and kind we are to each other we’ll never be like that, and I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be like that with anyone ever again, all the barriers down, no booby traps on the perimeters…I just don’t see it! And that, that makes me extremely sad.
So to the knee highs……
These are what I bought in La Senza lovely aren’t they? with the black and red dress they will be so cute…I am seriously thinking of opening up some kind of Wild West Saloon in my kitchen, I could have Chorus Girls and shots of whiskey…Yay! Obviously my legs are slightly more shapely, but I still think they look great! Love my legs, my second favorite part of my body…..Filthy badge for the person who guesses my favorite bit?
I also got some cute buy one get one free underwear there a few weeks ago, my boyfriend has seen this one on ….
Looks much nicer on the size 8 model, but I think I fill it out a bit better, I obviously am not gonna post pictures of myself in underwear on my blog, unless people send me money….or butter vouchers 🙂 So here is the one he hasn’t seen on me….
I actually like this one the most, and have scarlet fishnet stockings to go with it…still haven’t worn it though, it’s funny how stress and worry can make you feel unsure about yourself in so many aspects of your life. And finally if there is a frilly pants fairy here are the pants I want left under my pillow…..
Actually looking at frilly nice things cheered me up…who would have thought that sexy underwear could lift a tired soul? Maybe I could make money from that, Mistress Midgets Miserable no more Lingerie Programme?