Mirena and me…….

Hello nightowls!

It’s 1:38 as I begin this post, I have been lying in bed for an hour hand a half, I have a pain in my belly and I cannot unclench and relax enough to go to sleep.  There are a couple of reasons I suppose, it’s exactly a week today since my last drink, I haven’t slipped, not even  to open  a bottle of JD and smell that sweet smell (reminds me of hedonistic summer sex), I have had moments of “Oh Jesus I need a drink”, but I  haven’t given in, my boyfriend has been around a lot of the week and I think  because I haven’t been alone it’s been easier, but from Saturday morning until Wednesday of next week I’ll be on my ownio…..we’ll see how I cope! So I am missing  booze, not getting blotto, but booze,  last night I cooked supper for the man in my life and it was accompanied by apple juice….not the same as a nice Rioja! Tonight he cooked fro me and we had alcohol frei beir….not the same as a  Coors light!

I went to the hospital today, to ask for my tubal ligation, I waited in the teeny, tiny waiting room for the Gynae clinic  (public, private one probably has a fecking  fountain)  I was there waiting for 2 hours, with my 14 month old (impatient, frustrated) son,  it was in fact too small for my buggy, and my buggy is a regular one, not a super duper designer buggy! So  my son had just gotten to breaking point and I was starting to get really pissed off that loads of people who had arrived after me were being seen before me,  my son was so narky I’d given him the emergency sugar free lolly I had in my bag , and I was called.

The doctor was seeing me, which explains why I was waiting so long, he was younger than me and lovely, and handsome….unfair! I actually think  I remember him from my visits to the  antenatal clinic last year, he took all my details, then closed my file and asked me why I wanted my tubes tied (I’d lied at this stage , told him I was in a secure long term relationship, I actually gestured at my wedding ring…..sad!…kinda like “I’m a ladyeee!” I am  married, look at the ring!)  So I told him why.  He asked me was I aware of the side effects of tubal ligation, I said my doctor had told me there were no side effects and it was a very minor procedure, “Oh!” the doc interrupted, “it’s alright for him to say that from the comfort of his office!” Fuck, I was scared now, apparently it wasn’t the  snip snip, there you go , couple of days in bed and you are ok , I had been led to believe…

NO! Risks! Risks! Risks!

There were the normal risks associated with surgery, going under etc, there were risks associated with the  keyhole surgery, “things” get ruptured and damaged, then there were the risks of hemorrhaging afterwards, and the fact that my already heavy  painful periods would get heavier, some women find they bleed so heavily every month that after a few years hysterectomy is there only option! Now my mum has most of her health problems as the result of having a hysterectomy in  her thirties, I know what it does to a body,  to a woman, to a family and to a relationship!  I would rather have ten more babies, or never have sex again than have to experience that.

So he suggested the Mirena IUD, now I have considered this before, after my second child was born I even got the prescription and  was supposed to get it done, but I decided against it, it is a bit scary, insertion can be painful and you bleed  a lot for the first few months, once it’s  in there are the strings which hang down into the vagina and can cause problems for your partner during sex, and also eliminates any vigorous use  of sex toys or even fingers….see why I decided against it?  But now it’s my only option….

Well there is a non surgical option where they insert rods into the fallopian tubes and that causes scaring which will stop  eggs reaching the womb after ovulation and there fore stop pregnancy, but it is really new, and I am nervous about that, it also need to be done the same way as the  Mirena will be inserted, up the wazoo… Doc said “It’s just like a smear test…” Oh yeah really sell it to me baby, what woman doesn’t get excited at the thought of a smear?

So tonight I was discussing it with my boyfriend, now he knows all of  this is my decision to make alone, but I do need to talk to someone about it, and he is it! He said, “sure  if it’s just like a smear test it can’t be that bad” (or something to that effect)  What do you think I said to that? Imagine if someone  asked him could they dilate his penis and them stick something up there?Hmm?  The picture at  the top of the post is the Mirena and the insertion device, I bought the Mirena on the way home from Holles Street with the Prescription and the  drug refund scheme it was only 90 euro, usually nearly 300!  So I bought it and it is in a huge box….like the box is 18 inches long, and I’m like what the fuck! But now I can see it’s a whole insertion device and everything, so I have the device already, and the hot line number for Dr  Dreamy in Holles street, and I ring next time I’m bleeding (“Hey baby, I’m bleeding, know what I mean?) I  “pop” in and they pop it in…..

Tonight I did some Internet research and I am so conflicted, there are good and bad things about  tubal ligation and Mirena, but as my boyfriend says  only one is reversible.  I went to bed  tonight and usually  I can’t wait to cuddle and kiss and be carnal, but tonight no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t relax, and I felt empty, frustrated and a bit scared, sex is something I enjoy immensely and I am worried this is  gonna change that, in fact already it is changing it cos I’m thinking about it. I have a pain in my belly I am sure is psychosomatic, but it’s still there and enough to keep me awake.

Another thing keeping me awake is  the fact that my  four year old daughter has the chicken pox, bad, they are all over her genitals and  the rest of her body, even her beautiful face, in her ears and on her epiglottis, and today she developed what I thin is one on the white of her eye, I have to bring her to the GP  first thing tomorrow morning, so I have to leave here by 7 yet I am still up blogging at 2:15 am, I might have to bring her to the hospital tomorrow as it is really serious in your eyes, I should be at home, I can’t relax, she is with her dad and he is capable of minding her but  as her mother I  just want to be there for her!  So I am torn, do I hop into my car and drive across the city, where she is probably fast asleep and grand , in the process leaving my boyfriend who already feels I am pushing him away over the whole contraception thing, or do I stay here and just go in the morning as planned?  Oh god!


9 thoughts on “Mirena and me…….

  1. Hmm. I hope things have come together this morning, and your daughter’s ok! Scary. It sounds like a horrible dose – I had it when I was about her age, and got nothing like that! I wonder has it mutated since then?

    Porridge oats soaked in a sock, applied or put in the bath – asked my homeopath about it, she said calamine lotion jsut makes the spots dry and itchier.

    The two hour wait with the baby – grr!!

    It sounds like you’ve got lots of thinking to do – I love your freudian typo about the inserts ‘scaring’ your fallopian tubes 🙂

    I’d still consider your mother’s offer of going private, and look into that newer version of the op further if yo’re still thinking about having it done.

  2. Can recommend the Mirena IUD. Have had it for 13 years, and the only negative side is that I hardly notice having my periods at all. None of my partners have complained.

    …and now I’m reminded I should have it exchanged. Not sure for how many years they last :s

    Best of luck with your choice.

  3. I have just woken up from a 3 hour nap, so if my typing is terrible, forgive me.

    First off, the chicken pox thing, I remember when my son had a slight eye infection, but he was all clogged up and bloodshot and although, thankfully neither of my children have been seriously ill (even his subsequent chicken pox was mild) I felt so bloody hopeless, so I really do sympathise with you and your duaghter.

    Regarding the imminent, or at least heavily considered, rescheduling of the tube service from Fallop to Birth Canal Central, I just want to apologise for being a man. We really do have it so bloody easy (and the bloody is a pun and a truism). When my wife was in labour on our second child the midwife asked me how I was feeling and I just said “I’m glad I am a man, and I hope this child is male too” The problem with how awestruck I am about female stoicism in the face of pain and discomfort is such that it usually just appears terribly condescending.

    See men never really have to consider their fertility, the effects of out fertility are usually, in practical terms, soneone else’s problem. In addition, a man having a vasectomy does not, I believe, have the conflict of emotions that a woman, having a similar procedure does. Because men have abdicated the procreational responsibility, it somehow adds weight to any female’s decision to curtail her means of getting pregnant.

    I know I have written quite beautifully and fairly up to this point, and I was trying really hard, because the ultimate failure of my argument, is that I don’t have any answers or crumbs of comfort, except to say your decision was borne out of a terrific attitude to your children, and a refreshing outlook regarding the bigger picture. That, and I really do wish you well..

  4. Gosh Guys thanks for the support,
    I used the oats and I suggested it to my friend who’s son has the pox too! Worked grand, I brought her to doc on Friday and he said not to use the lotion either as it just dries the skin, makes it worse! Thanks for advice, I am gonna give the coil a go, sure it’s worth a try!

    Wonderful to hear a first hand account, thanks for sharing that with me, I am hoping it’ll work out for me too!

    Nice to see a man’s opinion, actually fair play to you for actually saying anything, I think men sometimes feel they can’t or shouldn’t comment on this kind of thing? I ‘m sure it’ll all work out for me, It’s a process of elimination I suppose!


  5. “I have a pain in my belly I am sure is psychosomatic”

    Funny how the world is so – symbiotic sometimes… Had your experience last night, just about 24 hours away from you. And it sounds like you’re in London and I’m in Seattle, WA, USA. I just went yesterday to the consultation to get the tubal and he tried to push Mirena on me. I remembered that I had already researched that and decided against it but couldn’t remember why so I had to go research it again last night.

    Yeah. NO. TOO MANY possible side affects. And too many people telling their (horror) stories.

    Tubal – I knew there was some risk involved, but then as I sat in front of my computer last night I somehow saw it in a whole new light. Any complications of a tubal would most likely require another surgery. And I couldn’t be sure that my health insurance would cover corrections to complications (even if I was in pain). Yeah- we americans have to worry about that shit (hate it).

    And not only that, I just found out last night that the failure rate of a tubal is .1% (same as the pill if taken correctly). And some studies showed the failure rate increasing slightly the longer it had been since you got it. PLUS – with a tubal if you get preganant it is most likely a life-threatening situation, as it would probably be ectopic. But with the pill you either have it or abort it.

    So, I too decided against both. I will stick with the pill. I like Yazmin and I don’t have any problems remembering to take it.

    Besides, I think that my body (and any woman’s body) prefers the most unintrusive method.

  6. I have Mirena… It stopped my period the first month. I had one light period two months later, and now haven’t had one in over a year. It hasn’t helped with all of my endo pain, but as far as contraceptive GREAT! No worry about condoms and such.

    As to the strings, he won’t feel them. And there’s only certain times of the month when your cervix will be low enough for you to feel them. Have your doctor cut the strings short. And I can use sex toys, in and out. I’ve had no problem. Just keep them clean.

  7. Guys thanks for all the support and advice on the coil, I have to put my contraceptive method on hold for nine months…..again! But I think after the birth it will be Mirena for me, unless I have to have a section then I will ask doc to do tubal! decisions!

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