So I am in a bind, I have always been interested in paganism, or witchcraft and several times during my life so far I have dabbled, but each time there comes a point where I just stop, the commitment becomes too much, or quite simply I get too scared. If you believe as I do in an “other world” then once you pull back the curtain between this world and that you open yourself up to a whole lot. I have never felt ready to take that step.
So, three weeks ago I dragged my boyfriend into the house of astrology on Parliament street, as I mentioned he was fasinated by the crystals, I wandered and even though I had no intention of buying anything picked up a book, “Irish Witchcraft by an Irish witch”, by Lora O’Brien, now I haven’t bought a book like that in a long time and last time I moved house most of my Wicca books were sent to the local charity shop, but I bought the book and began reading it immediately, I have finished it (that in itself is a miracle as I find it impossible to finish books since the baby was born!) And now, now I am preoccupied.
Lora talks about her experiences, it’s a fascinating book, the way the Irish legends of the Tain ties into the Gods and Goddesses is mesmerising and her own account of how she committed herself to the Irish Goddess of war The Morrigan is fascinating, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. But what really struck a cord in me was how she spoke about herself and her own personal journey to dedicating herself to this dark and dangerous Goddess, she said she had been in the light too long, embracing all the “nice” aspects of Paganism or witchcraft but avoided the dark, she had lost two babies, she had experienced pain and then joy when she had her two daughters, her life brought her closer and closer to The Morrigan, moving to Roscommon, her land was so close to the caves of The Goddess but for over 18 months she managed to avoid them, but her dreams echoed with the Goddess and her Crows. Eventually she literally and spiritually descended into the cave to meet the Goddess, the account is fascinating.
So what speaks to me about this is how I feel very similarly, I feel like I am circling this commitment, for years now, drawing closer and then withdrawing again, and recently my dreams have been haunted by other things, otherworldly things!
So that’s that, not a very interesting post I suppose….maybe some of you are thinking two words now ….Fruit and Loop! But my blog is sometimes the only place to let an idea float, then settle, I might find it freeing to just let it go here?