Have you seen the Woody Allen film “Everyone Says I love you”? It’s one of my favorite films, set in Paris, in it Woody plays Goldie Hawn’s ex husband, she has remarried Alan Alda and is very happy, her daughters with Woody Allen are nearly women, and everyone (even the senile old grandad) gets on like a house on fire! It is the perfect “blended” family situation, the ex and the current husband enjoying a chat and a glass of wine together, the kids all getting along.
On Sunday my daughter had a party to say goodbye to her Montessori friends, as only four of them are gonna be in her school in September, she asked some friends from Montessori and outside,my eldest son had a friend there and my boyfriend and his two boys were there. My daughter wanted her dad to be there, and my boyfriend to be there, so they could meet her friends (it seemed important to her). So on Sunday we were a Woody Allen movie, my current and my ex partners, our assorted children, all milling around.
Now my ex and current partner have met each other several times, but haven’t interacted together in front of the children and I suppose it was important for them to see them get along and see it as a “normal” situation. So in the play centre when the yummy mummies showed up to drop off their little angels, there I was with the two men in my life, they sat, drank coffee, talked, read the paper, alternated between playing with the kids or holding the baby……it was quite bizarre to see, but lovely and it made my heart sing.
I am having my fourth child with someone new, he is going to be a huge part of my childrens life, and at the same time my ex is going to be a huge part of his baby’s life! It is a very modern situation, we are all singing off the same hymn sheet at the moment, we are all thinking about the kids, what is best for them, but also what is best for us. My ex was my partner for 16 years, my boyfriend could learn a lot about how to deal with me from him, we all need a united front when it comes to dealing with the kids, everyone knows you can’t show any weakness!
Maybe I am an aging hippy, maybe I am not stoical but naive, but I believe it is possible to live an alternative lifestyle, to be an alternative family, where who is who and what is what isn’t as important as the quality and quantity of love present, am I crazy?