My life is getting a bit Woody Allen……..

Have you seen the Woody Allen film “Everyone Says I love you”? It’s one of my favorite films, set in Paris, in it Woody plays Goldie Hawn’s ex husband, she has remarried Alan Alda and is very happy, her daughters with Woody Allen are nearly women, and everyone (even the senile old grandad) gets on like a house on fire!  It is the perfect “blended” family situation, the ex and the current husband enjoying a chat and a glass of wine together, the kids all getting along.

On Sunday my daughter had a party to say goodbye to her Montessori friends, as only four of them are gonna be in her school in September, she asked some friends from Montessori and outside,my eldest son had a friend there and my boyfriend and his two boys were there. My daughter wanted her dad to be there, and my boyfriend to be there, so they could meet her friends (it seemed important to her). So on Sunday we were a Woody Allen movie, my current and my ex partners, our assorted children, all milling around.

Now my ex and current partner have met each other several times, but haven’t interacted together in front of the children and I suppose it was important for them to see them get along and see it as a “normal” situation. So in the play centre when the yummy mummies showed up to drop off their little angels, there I was with the two men in my life, they sat, drank coffee, talked, read the paper, alternated between playing with the kids or holding the baby……it was quite bizarre to see, but lovely and it made my heart sing.

I am having my fourth child with someone new, he is going to be a huge part of my childrens life, and at the same time my ex is going to be a huge part of his baby’s life! It is a very modern situation, we are all singing off the same hymn sheet at the moment, we are all thinking about the kids, what is best for them, but also what is best for us. My ex was my partner for 16 years, my boyfriend could learn a lot about how to deal with me from him, we all need a united front when it comes to dealing with the kids, everyone knows you can’t show any weakness!

Maybe I am an aging hippy, maybe I am not stoical but naive, but I believe it is possible to live an alternative lifestyle, to be an alternative family, where who is who and what is what isn’t as important as the quality and quantity of love present, am I crazy?

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7 thoughts on “My life is getting a bit Woody Allen……..

  1. Makes no difference if you’re crazy or not, hon, either way, you don’t have any choice.

    So go for it, make it happen, be the glue 🙂

  2. It’s so great that the three of you are meeting with the kids already. Took my mom and dad 12 years to get that far (although if he had still been with the first woman I’m not sure they would ever have made) and me and ex-husband still haven’t really reached that point – and it’s been 8 years since the divorce. (Odd thing here is he left me for another and I wasn’t even allowed to meet with his mother afterwards).
    So enjoy! Be proud and of course it’s not crazy!

  3. In my experience it’s the families that look ‘normal’ on the outside that have the most problems. The more open, honest and ‘hippy’ households seem to produce the most well-adjusted children.

    Enjoy your Allen-esque life!

    (sidenote: going to see Annie Hall in Meeting House Square tomorrow night)

  4. Thanks guys!
    It’s difficult though, I think people in general don’t know how to deal with our situation…my family are totally stumped so I just don’t say anything, It’s easier to live up to the expected stereotypes, the wronged woman, the dead beat dad….etc.

    Btw I love Woody, well not recently, I like his earluer funnier stuff! 🙂

  5. I agree with Darren. – “normal” families are the most screwed up of all. I’m like you MW – my family is a veritable hodgepodge of catastrophes which has caused a huge split down the middle.

    Now the bits I do know – are brilliant fun and we operate very well together but it would be so wonderful if we could all communicate in an adult fashion. you have the right idea and I hope it all works out for you!

  6. Midge I think you’re right.

    I’ve seen how loved those little ones are and I think it doesn’t matter what the set up is as long as the love is there.

    It is a different situation and i know i’ve said it before, I’m amazed at it, and how you can all get on together and just get on with it.

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