Ok, so I haven’t posted here ub a while, and on nine pounds since early on Saturday morning when I was shattered, I am still shattered, I’d forgotten I suppose how tired you are in the first trimester, and with three kids to run around after I am basically brain dead constantly, a simple question requiring a yes or no answer will throw me into a stupor! I am up early in the morning, kids and I head to gym, we drop toddler into childcare and then swim for an hour, I am in the shallow end with my daughter so I am doing nothing strenuous but still that very gentle exercise is enough to wipe me out, after a shower the kids head to the adventure zone thing, where they run around for about 45 minutes giving me a chance to sit with my book and have a cup of tea and a scone! We are home by 11:45 am, it feels like 2 am, I feed them, feed the baby, put him down for a nap and try to forgo my urge to clean and tidy and just lie down for an hour! Not that it has worked, kids pester me, in and out asking for the same thing over and over again in a Bart Simpson style…….
Today I flipped, I had gotten baby to sleep, I had fed the other two, swimming stuff in the machine being washed for tomorrow, I’d even done a grocery shop, had two chickens in the oven and I tried to lie down….after fifteen minutes I was just dropping off, in comes the ten year old, “can I go out to play?”, no, he’d been grounded for fighting with his sister, “then the back garden”, I said OK, but no screaming and shouting, fifteen minutes later I am just dropping off again and up comes his sister, looking for a treat!!! When she was dismissed I thought OK, fifteen minutes left, she’s only down stairs five minutes when the two of them start screaming at each other!!
Downstairs like a bullet, I see the fear in their eyes when I enter the room, I ring their dad, tell him I am gonna call social services to take them away if they don’t stop fighting and hand my son the phone to talk to his dad!
Now Iam gonna be the mother of four in February,what will the rows be like, what does the future hold! I know I am a good mum, I am very sure of that but sometimes the relentless energy and selflessness required just seems all consuming and there is nothing left for me?