Breakfast in bed!

Do I need to say anymore? My lovely sweet boyfriend (who I really don’t deserve) made me breakfast in bed this morning (yes they are superquinn sausages!) My old husband (is that better than EX?) has my kids, so it’s just been me, my boyfriend and his kids since yesterday evening, I’l be getting my guys at four today, so I have given my boyfriend some space, he had a “man night” with boys last night, pizza and the Blues Brothers, so I just stayed out of the way. I figure he needs one on one time with them to make them feel secure, so I just keep my head down, I also feel like if I avoid the kids I won’t get drawn into the situations that my boyfriend needs to be addressing. Easier said than done, last night I went to my neighbour for a cup of tea ( two hours, several cups of tea and a chocolate stirrer from M&S) and when I came back, while passing through the hall on my way to my room I asked the eight year old if he’d had a good night, I was ignored……which is not unusual, so I just feel totally hopeless, then I lay upstairs listening to my partner being bullied by his own son…….not good, I really am at a loss.

My gut instinct is to speak to everyone in a very respectful manner, even when I am discipline the kids I do try to be reasonable ( at times I fail miserably) and I had felt that the child would follow the example and speak respectfully to my partner (his dad) his brother, my kids and me, but that just doesn’t work, he just seems unaware of what is happening, he is a bully and I just can’t warm to him……that makes me feel really sad! So you see I really don’t deserve breakfast in bed! I did venture downstairs for about five minutes this morning, but I just couldn’t bite my tongue so I headed back upstairs, where I am now listening to the Republic of Loose on my stereo, really fucking loud, foul language blaring out…..hee hee like a fucking teenager! I am gonna try to do the blog post that has been brewing fro a while, but my brain is just fucked after all that meat!


8 thoughts on “Breakfast in bed!

  1. you need to knock that on the head.

    they’re in your home now, and 8 is big and bold enough to understand that. you’ve made them welcome, and now they have to reciprocate. but it’s not your job to force them – it’s his. he may well be a lovely, gentle individual, but he’s brought them into your life and thus he absolutely must deal with the situation.

  2. Thanks, I do know that, I am blest with really nice kids you see, so I am at a loss when faced with this kind of behaviour. He is trying very hard, but as he is seperated from his wife I think he has fallen into the trap a lot of seperated people do, I want my kids to like me, they like my ex more? My ex and I don’t have that problem cos we are still united, when it comes to kids anyway, you know that saying divide and conquer? that’s what kids do…….and you just can’t let them. I love my partner, I hate disagreeing over the kids, I see the hurt in his eyes, I see the confusion, I want to help, but…,….And yes he is an amazingly gentle kind individual.

  3. Role modeling is good, but you can’t expect it to work overnight. I’m afraid you’re looking at a long struggle, no quick solutions to the patterns and behaviours that have been taught over time.

  4. I have so much anger every time I read your posts about this situation. I’m biting my tongue here, but kids really wreck my head. There are some good kids, but in my experience they are mostly cruel creatures. Argh!

    I’m going to stop reading your blog (but probably not really).

  5. Oh but Darren, not all kids are like that, I do think there are no bad kids, just bad parents! I have to say my kids are just lovely, but then I (and my husband, and our extended families) have invested a lot in them, they are valued and they value other people as a result of that, at times they do my head in of course, but at other times they enlighten me to waht “real love” is. I do honestly believe you only experience true love, in all it’s horrible self sacrificing beauty when you have kids!

    Any having seen the computer generated kid you and lottie would have……well you just have to reproduce! 🙂

  6. I don’t know where you get the patience. I guess there sould be some sympathy for the kids as they are dealing with a very adult situation – which can be hard to deal with. But o be honest these kids just sound like they are been little bolloxxes to make your like harder.

    It’s never too late to start teaching them respect and their parents need to sort this out!

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