Alternative BBQ

BBQSo on  Sunday my partner and I had a BBQ, we did all the usual stuff, steak, burgers,  hot dogs, salads, my mozzarella pesto garlic bread and cheesy tortilla chili wraps! Beer and wine , nothing very alternative about the menu, but the guest list might raise a few eyebrows.

We had my ex hubby and his partner, some of their friends who had never seen my ex hubby around his kids, they had done some nice things for us recently. Then there were some friends common to both my ex hubby and I, who we have shared custody of and lastly one of my newer mummy friends and her hubby and brood!

The kids had a ball, it was funny for me, they are so adaptable, it’s mummy and her partner, daddy and his partner and sometimes everyone all together! It does show that they really don’t care about who is with who unless people are fighting. I can say with my hand on my heart that none of my kids (the older two were 3 and 9 when my marriage ended) have ever asked me ill daddy come home. They are happy.

Now it is hard, us oldies find it more difficult, I found the day very stressful and have to admit I drank a good few beers and didn’t eat very much but I am glad we did it, I’m blessed to have a partner who understands my need to do things this way and not feel jealous or resentful that I don’t hate my ex. Now, that’s not to say that the hurt isn’t still there, my partner and I were doing the post mortem yesterday and he said people maybe think that my ex didn’t hurt me, or that I’m “over it”. I hope that’s not the case as I do still hurt. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, but I don’t want everyone to think I am some sort of robot with an on/off emotion switch (that feature only comes on the male model).

Anyway, it was a nice day, if stressful. Kids had a ball, and I could exhale a little more knowing they are still ok, everything is still working out ok. MY ex looked nervous at allowing his friends to see the “daddy” side of his personality, I wonder what they thought?

You see I am so tightly involved and bound into my children’s lives that my friends would have difficulty separating me from them. Which can be a pain in the ass as I feel like I don’t have any independent non mummy personality left, but I know if I had to choose I’d choose being a parent most of the time, I have moments of extreme jealously, my ex gets to live a single life, go out, have fun, have hangovers,  and then he gets to spend fun time with the kids, best of both worlds? But I get to spend the boring narky times with them too, and we spend so much time together in our tiny box house that we drive each other crazy, but they are my children and I am lucky to have them, there is one thing I am sure of, they are gonna make my life interesting and keep me busy for the rest of my life.

One more thing, I got everyone to bring there own booze, but also bring dessert to the BBQ, worked out a treat, we had such lovely treats I’ll definitely do it again!It was better than Charlie and the chocolate factory, my favorites were the Carrot cake (Avoca recipe made by Paula) and the brown bread (I don’t know where it was from but it was really good) , we also got homemade crumble and cream, meringue roulade, amazing chocolate ganache cake, Romantica ice cream dessert and the kids made cup cakes!

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5 thoughts on “Alternative BBQ

  1. That menu sounds completely delicious. The drama and social dynamics sounds hair raising, and very emotionally delicate and possibly draining. But, I think you’re all very brave to get together like that, and to celebrate the connections you have to each other. I can tell the day was a success, because you sound happy, and your kids sound like they had a cracking good time. Go you brave woman, you!

  2. Ah, you see this is why I loved to blog, the sense of community and connectedness in a rapidly expanding world! Thanks for the cheer! You are very sweet!

  3. That sounds like a great get together, minus the stress….
    I am still friendly with some of my ex’s, and my husband doesn’t really get it. Two were invited to our wedding, one came, and one couldn’t bring himself to attend, but I thought nothing about inviting them. Hubby on the other hand felt weird about it I think.
    Anyway, look to the future and continue to celebrate the riches you have together.

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